Am I too old?

[Teresa Oliversen]

Hi everyone,

I have posted before in the relationship forums, but thought that this subject belongs in parenting to see if I can get some perspective from parents.

I’m 38 years old and still want to become a mother one day. I can’t help but worry all the time that I’m just too old for that to happen. I’ve only been with my boyfriend now for 6 months, so don’t want to get pregnant anytime soon, unless it just happens for whatever reason (as I’m not on birth control). So realistically, I won’t have children until I’m at least 40, and that terrifies me. I’ve also been down on myself that I won’t be married either until I’m in my 40’s. I feel like such a failure when it comes to marriage and kids.

Both of my sisters are married. One is older than me and has 2 kids and the other is 8 years younger than me and is married without kids, but they don’t want kids.

I can’t help but feel like I have completely messed up my 20s and 30s, and that I will have trouble conceiving due to my age. My boyfriend has said that he does want kids, but obviously we both don’t want to have them soon and unexpectedly and enjoy our relationship as it is now. I would also like to at least be engaged before this happens.

I know age, timeline, etc. shouldn’t matter, but these days I’m feeling like it will never happen for me.

Has anyone started a relationship/family in their late 30’s when they didn’t think it would happen?

[Author]

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